Thanks for coming back to get uncomfortable with me about your “first love”. Hope you enjoyed the first blog – if you haven’t read Uncomfortable: Your “First Love” and What that Relationship Teaches You (Part 1) yet, check it out for the full story ❤
Let’s continue, shall we…
- Communication is Key
This relationship was one of the healthiest I have had in terms of communication. I’m not talking about texting and phone calls – I texted
him WAY too much, because of the lack of trust (and that awkward age didn’t help either)… But, I’m talking communication via authenticity. We were open and honest and told each other things that we had never shared before. Not only was he my boyfriend, he was my best friend. And isn’t that what we truly want? A best friend in our significant other – a partnership.
We were REAL with each other, and now I have realized how rare that is. People don’t want to talk about feelings – EVER. And why is that? Because we don’t want to be “catching feelings”, like it’s some kind of disease or sickness to actually like someone. COME ON GUYS. That truly is as ridiculous as it sounds. Sack up.
If you can’t communicate with your partner, then there’s no way the relationship can work. Authentic communication is a requirement for a successful relationship. If you can’t talk openly and honestly then it’s time to be honest with yourself…
- Don’t Force Something
This is something that took me a LONG time to learn (unfortunately). You can’t make a relationship work. Relationships take work yes, how much work, depends on each relationship. But, don’t force the relationship. You can’t change someone to match your needs. Everyone has different love languages and your needs may not match your partners. Accept that.
I know it is way easier said than done, but forcing the relationship isn’t doing you or your partner any good. You are both lying to yourselves, and to each other.
As hard as it is sometimes to end a relationship, end it while you, hopefully, still like each other. Eventually, if you continue to force a relationship it is going to end badly. You can’t make a relationship work.
In conclusion:
My High School Sweetheart and I were not friends for a long time after we broke up. We (mostly me since we’re being honest) forced our relationship at the end and things went all kinds of bad. But, we are friends now and I’m thankful that we were eventually able to reach that place. 
I learned what I was supposed to learn from this relationship.
- Give Faith and Trust Where it is Due
- Don’t Ruin Your Dating Schema
- Always Trust Your Gut and Stay True to Yourself
- Communication is Key
- Don’t Force Something
“That” relationship has helped shape the way I approach situations, issues, etc. in other relationships; and what you learn(ed) doesn’t just have to be applied to other romantic relationships either. You can apply what you learn(ed) to friendships, business relations and family relationships as well. Everything we learn has a purpose and a use.
Let’s get REAL about our needs.
Let’s get uncomfortable and be our authentic selves with the people we care about ❤
What did your “first love” teach you? How did that relationship impact your love and dating schema? What are the lessons you’ll never forget? I’d LOVE to hear your stories, please feel free to leave a comment below or to shoot me an email.
xoxo 🙂
REAL talk with AshEvdo 