So, there are two main schools of thought on this:
a. We are telling our daughters to respect their bodies and respect themselves
b. We are telling our daughters that boys/men can’t always control theirselves – so they (our daughters) need to dress appropriately as to not gain improper or unwanted attention
Now, I know I don’t have a daughter, but I am the daughter of two AMAZING people, and to this day, my Dad still tells me to “Go put some clothes on!” – usually though it’s because he thinks I look too good. Thankfully, at 26, I have long outgrown the “dressing slutty” stage…
But, that’s a thing, right? We’ve all seen the 14 year old girl walking around in daisy dukes that she has NO BUSINESS wearing, but she wears them anyways. And why? Because we as a society have said that is what’s “cool” or “sexy”?
Society may dictate what’s #trending and what this era thinks is sexy – but nature is the reason she chooses to dress like that. 100+ years ago people were getting married at 16 & 17 years old – so, flaunting what you had at 14 or 15 wasn’t that bad… But now, we are trying to delay what is engrained into our genomes. We are worried about girls dressing promiscuously at school and distracting the boys… Well, that is human nature folks – and thanks to all the added hormones in everything we eat, girls are developing into women MUCH faster.
I understand dress codes at school – it is a learning environment. But, when you had that crush and you knew you had class with that person, didn’t you want to wear your best outfit? Or ladies, maybe you wanted to wear something a little shorter to show off your awesome legs? Or something a little more low cut to show off your “assets”? The answer is more than likely yes, because it’s natural to do so…
However, you can’t send one girl home for wearing (x) and not send another girl. The policy has to be a blanket policy – for ALL girls. Because sometimes you may have a girl who is a DD in class with a girl who hasn’t developed. We don’t want to make the girl with the DD feel bad about her body, right? Nor do we want to make the girl who hasn’t developed feel bad about hers. So, if a girl wears an inappropriate shirt (for her chest size) and another girl wears the same shirt, even though it may not look all that inappropriate – the repercussions have to be the same.
However, that being said – some of these “dress codes” have gotten WAY out of hand (see above). A girl’s education is important too!!!! Guys are just as responsible…
Whether we like it or not, dressing a certain way gets you attention – and it may not always be the kind of attention you like or the kind you want – but you’re getting it regardless… And I’m not saying it’s the girls fault for dressing a certain way, or the guys fault for looking – it is BIOLOGICAL for us to do these things. And don’t get me wrong, even as adults, the majority of us still dress up, or get a little sexier than usual, when we are “going out”.
The fact that we are trying to delay nature because getting married at 17 isn’t the “norm” anymore is seriously effecting our children’s sexual schemas. We don’t want to make them feel bad about themselves or their bodies, so we focus on “control” when we should be focusing on RESPECT.
I don’t know about you, but I remember the male libido in high school – and well… yeah. There’s no “controlling” that. If a guy has a strong enough libido, then it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing sweats ladies (I am the QUEEN of sweats by the way), he’s still going to want you. And that is fine (as long as you consent of course). There is nothing wrong with having a strong libido, it’s natural – so we shouldn’t be making our boys feel about about that either!
We need to spend more time teaching our boys and men how to respect women, instead of trying to teach them to control their sex drive.
And ladies, that is a double edged sword. Because if you don’t respect yourself, why should he respect you?
I would like to believe that we are telling and teaching our daughters to respect their bodies and their worth by telling them to, “Put some clothes on”. I don’t believe women are inherently victims and I am honestly sick of people attempting to victimize us. We are our own choices – for the most part.
Let me clarify something: I am in no way, shape or form, saying that it is ok for men to treat women a certain way or to say stupid crap like, “She had it coming” because of the way she dresses. I don’t believe that one bit. That’s where teaching our boys/men respect comes in…
Ladies – if you dress scandalously, or wear a skirt a little shorter than normal or a top where your chest is hanging out, you are inviting a certain kind of attention – whether you want to or not. I’m not saying it is right or wrong – it just is what it is.
Let’s get REAL about what we are teaching our sons and daughter.
Let’s get uncomfortable and start asking others to respect us, the way we respect ourselves.