Uncomfortable: Wedding Season – Always the Bridesmaid Never the Bride

Let me start by saying that I’m not looking for a proposal out of this blog. I am completely content in my relationship right now, and where we are at… That being said, I am a bridesmaid in two weddings this year. My best friend in Florida is getting married in November, and my best friend since high school is getting married in August… And then one of my childhood girlfriends is also getting married this year! CRAZINESS!! Three weddings in one year – talk about trying to break the bank ladies.

Right now I’m finding that we are at that awkward age, I turned 26 in November, where half of our friends are adulting and getting married and settling down; and then the other half are well, not adulting.

At what point do you feel like you need to start settling down? All of my friends are getting married, starting families, creating lives with that special someone. And not that Andy (my boyfriend) and I aren’t beginning to create a life together, but it’s different when you’re married. You are committing to one person for the rest of your life… does that not terrify anyone else?! And not for the sake of “being” with one person forever sexually – but how do you know that you’ll like that person in 20 years? How do you know that you’ll love who they grow into?? These are legitimate questions!…

I’m one of those girls that has thought about her wedding since she was little. I’ve dreamt about it, I’ve planned it hundreds of times in my head. I’ve always been ready to settle down and get wifed up. But for the first time in my life, I’m not ready. For the first time in my life I am more focused on myself…

I’m focusing on finishing my MBA, on staring my career, on making a name for myself. For the first time I’m not thinking or worried about getting married and settling down.
But isn’t this the time I should be thinking about getting married? Isn’t this the age that I should be worried that I’m not engaged?

I’m sure many women are feeling the same way or have felt this same way at some point. There is this pressure from society to settle down and get married and start a family. It’s a catch 22… There are so many things I want to do before I “play wife”, but I do want to get married and have a family.
It’s not that Andy isn’t supportive of me having a career, but typically a career and a family don’t go hand in hand too well.

Most women have to give up one for the other; or your kids spend time with a nanny or in daycare or Latchkey before school. And that happens more often than not now because it takes two incomes to support a household… but I grew up with my mom being there, and I want to be able to take my kids to school and pick them up from practice and such. I understand that’s a “luxury” a lot of parents don’t have now, and that honestly bums me out.

So… what’s the right answer? Do we give up the careers and our world conquering ideas to become the bride instead of the bridesmaid? Do we have to make a compromise one way or the other?? Do we not use our education to the fullest extent because we want to have a family?