Uncomfortable: Relationships | Falling in Love with Yourself Again

It’s been a hot minute since I posted in here, and I apologize for that. Life has a funny way of getting in the way sometimes, and I wanted to think this whole thing through before posting about it.
As some of you know, my boyfriend (of two years) and I split a few months back… and while some people go out and blow off steam or jump back into another relationship (let’s be honest, like I have in the past multiple times) – this time was different. 

This time, I wanted to work on me – and work on my relationship with myself, for myself. I get really carried away in relationships sometimes (show of hands..?), and I end up caring more about the other person involved than I do about my own well-being, which, hindsight, isn’t that smart O_o 

So, let’s talk about this – because it isn’t something a lot of people want to talk about. Loving yourself, before you love anyone else. How many of us look to other people to “make us happy”, or to be the light in the night, or to fulfill something inside of us that we feel is missing?…
Is it fair to ask someone, or to expect someone, to be all those things for you?
Not really… and yet there are times we have ALL done it.

What is wrong with loving yourself? Of being proud of who you are? – – – – – NOTHING!!
We all talk about self-love and self-care, but very few of us actually practice it – dare I say it’s because we aren’t actually aware of the lack of it…? According to Dr. Eurich, 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% truly are.
Yowza! Talk about a harsh, however valid, statistic.
(You can read more about that by following the link, but that is a whole nother blog topic to broach later as well 🙂 )

Bringing it back to self-love.
On the journey out of my previous relationship, I started to enjoy the journey of finding myself again, and falling back in love with who I really was.
A friend. A confidant. A daughter. A scholar. A sister. A smartass. A confident human being.

This is the first time in a long time that I’ve been able to be honest with myself, and actually listen to myself. Novel idea I know, but I touched on that in an older blog about why being honest is so hard – especially, with yourself!  The struggle is real my friend, legit every day.

So, what am I doing right now that is strictly for me, and for falling in love with myself again? For some good old fashioned self-love and self-care?
I am doing my first NPC Bikini Competition in November of this year.

Currently, 9 weeks out! And I’ve already seen some major changes, which is super exciting.
Eating right, not drinking, losing weight and building muscle the right way. Which means, NOT throwing up my 1500 calories/day diet…
I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this. That I was capable, and capable of doing this in a way that was not harmful to my body, or to my mind.
This journey has been very rewarding, and I’m stoked about the end goal!

(Left) week 1, (Right) week 4

All in all, the main takeaway is this (I think O_o) – don’t lose yourself in someone else. Your partner should help you make you your best self. If we all put a little more effort into ourselves, then maybe more relationships would last…? (Let me specify, because I don’t mean selfishly, you have to give as much – if not more – than you take).
That may be a jump, but if we were all our best selves for each other because we wanted to be, and loved ourselves (and therefore respected ourselves), as we respected others – don’t you think that would allow for WAY better relationships in general?
More questions than answers, I know – but Lord knows I definitely don’t have all of the answers! ❤

Let’s get honest about our feelings (#forrealtho).
Let’s get uncomfortable, and raise awareness for self-love and self-care.
Let’s fall in love with ourselves again! Because you ROCK.

 

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